Time: 10:00 am
Location: mother’s bistro, Portland, OR
Number of calories consumed: I don’t want to know

We made it to Portland just as my absolute favorite breakfast place in the world was opening, so we were able to eat without a wait. (By the time we finished the wait was an hour and a half.). Why was it so important to get the timing just right? Because this is the home of the greatest biscuits in the world.
Next, a quick stop to stock up on water and contact solution, and we’re off.

Even though Millie may have stolen the show, our trip to Portland had even more goodness to offer.  It was all a little random, so I think it’s time to whip out the bullet list again.

• After we arrived at the Hostess House, Dominic, Miles and I decided we needed to decompress and eat some dinner.  (We didn’t leave until 9:30, which is wayyyy past Barrie’s bedtime, so she opted to stay in and get some sleep.)  Most of the week prior to our trip had centered around an email chain planning out all the places where we would eat while in Oregon so we decided not to waste any time and made our way to Pok Pok, a hipster-Thai-fusion restaurant in Portland that is super famous for the Fish Sauce wings- chicken wings marinated in fish sauce and cane sugar for 24 hours and fried, then doused with a generous splash of chili sauce.  When we sat down and were greeted by our stereotypical Portland waiter (thick horn-rimmed glasses, fixed-gear-bicycle-ready capri pants, willing to talk about the pandan-infused tap water with the same gusto that a sommelier would describe a bottle of Rothschild), I was a little leery, but I was wrong.  I generally don’t like chicken wings, fried meat or chicken skin, but I wanted to eat the shit out of those wings- especially the skin.  Yum.  (The $4 a piece prawns were less impressive though.)  I am so sad I didn’t take a picture of those.
• We spent Saturday wandering around Portland proper- a visit to the Saturday market, some quality time at Powell’s, lunch at a  Lebanese place where the waiter may or may not have been an actual employee (he didn’t know the bathroom required a key even though there was a HUGE sign declaring so right behind him, and when Barrie ordered lebneh and eggs, he asked her if she really needed the eggs.  Huh?) and some afternoon art appreciation.

I was sad that I was still too full from breakfast to try the Wedge Fries- mostly because the sign said they are “tossed with happiness.”  How can you NOT want to eat something that positive?

Miles was NOT too full for a 2nd breakfast, obviously.

Miles, Dominic and I spent the afternoon at the Portland Art Museum, where we had some stereotypical discussions about the nature of art and checked out the really awesome China Design Now exhibit.  I wanted to take pictures of the Ju Jin models, but I got caught by a 120-year-old docent and had to delete them.

Barrie wanted something a little more kitschy so she went to check out what she thought was an Elvis museum, but was actually the 24 Hour Church of Elvis.  After seeing the “exhibit” (which took about 4 minutes), she wandered down the street for some sipping chocolate at Cacao, which got her sipping-chocolate-obsessed-self’s seal of approval.

The four of us reunited near Cacao.  The boys headed to an arcade, I called my mom and Barrie took a nap in the car.

I shouldn’t make fun.  I was asleep in the front seat 20 minutes after I took this picture.

• For dinner, we went to Mother’s Bistro and Bar, where we ate the best effing biscuits in the history of the world.  Our friend Brooke first raved about these biscuits a year ago, and she is totally right about them.  They are like giant clouds of butter with a little flour thrown in for good measure.  You throw some strawberry freezer jam on these babies and you basically have the best strawberry shortcake ever- and all this before you even start dinner.  (Note: Mother’s has a cookbook coming out next month.  I can’t bake, but if there is a biscuit recipe in there and you promise to make them for me, I will preorder this book for you today.)
• The next day, after another breakfast lovingly prepared by Millie, we set out to do what we came to Portland for in the first place- run an 8k.  You may have seen my earlier posts about other races I’ve run, but this one was a bit different- there were only about 20 participants.  Maybe.  We actually drove past the race once because we thought it was a family setting up for their kid’s birthday party- it was that small.  However, we did discover that really tiny races have one distinct advantage- it makes it a LOT easier to win.

Barrie and Dominic rocked it out and both won blue ribbons for their age groups.  Go team winner!

Um, I was still feeling kind of crappy thanks to last week’s brush with the swine flu combined with 45 degree weather that morning, so I stopped running after mile 3.  Miles walked the rest of the race with me because he hadn’t actually trained at all.  We were not winners.  (Technically Miles still got a ribbon because he was the only guy in his age range.  I think I was the only person in the entire race to not win a ribbon at all- I like to think that this was a victory in it’s own way.)

I DO think I had the best hat there though.

• Post race, we decided to reward ourselves with brunch at Kenny and Zuke’s.

Barrie feasted on a TONGUE sandwich.  When she showed me the gigantic tastebud in her sandwich, I finally remembered to document a meal.

Barrie nearly peed with joy when she saw that they had Celery soda on the menu- evidently, nothing compliments tongue like celery-flavored soda.  I don’t get it, but it made her incredibly happy.

Finally, Miles couldn’t decide whether he wanted to go the savory or sweet route, so he did what any real man would do- he ordered both.  Pastrami Eggs Benedict AND Berry Blintzes.  Impressive.  (Can you tell that Miles likes food?  I cannot wait to introduce him to Scott next weekend!)

• After brunch, it was time to head home.  But we had one more VERY CRUCIAL stop to make before we called the weekend a true success.

Dave’s Killer Bread IS the greatest effing bread in the history of the world, and the factory is located right outside of Portland.  Once we found out that you can buy day-old bread at half price (each loaf usually runs almost $6!), we knew we had to make a pit stop.

Dave wasn’t actually there that day, so we had to settle for a cardboard version.

So that was Portland.  I hope that this keeps you entertained for a few days, because tomorrow at midnight Mike and I are heading out for 5 days in Tulum, Mexico.  90 degree weather, sun, ocean and margaritas- here we come!  I’m so excited to go on a real vacation that I won’t even complain when Mike orders his margaritas blended.  Cheers!

Mike dedicated the weekend to working- save for a brief break to go see Zombieland, which he loved, he spent the entire weekend revamping his portfolio site.  He’s a good worker.  In an effort to be a supportive wife, I spent the weekend in Portland- you know, to better stay out of his hair and let him work.

I had actually planned this several weeks ago- Barrie, Dominic and our friend Miles had all signed up for a 5 mile race in Vancouver, WA, which is right outside of Portland, OR.  Barrie, ever the planner, not only found the race, but also discovered what was described online as a “quaint, affordable bed and breakfast” where we could spend the weekend.  We were all excited about what promised to be a relaxing weekend with good friends a healthy dose of sightseeing and exercise.

Well, we were all a little confused when we actually arrived at our destination.

The aesthetic was a bit more “my parents’ house in the suburbs” than “weekend getaway.”  We were confused.  None of us had ever seen a suburban bed and breakfast.

the not-so-countryside

We figured that the inside would be strikingly different.  And then we went inside.

our room

Have YOU ever payed money to stay at your grandma’s house?  Now Barrie, Dominic, Miles and I can say that we have.

Millie, the inkeeper, obviously has a real eye for interior decorating.

Do you LOVE the wall hanging?  Every time I looked at it, I had to try really hard not to make this face:

Of course, our stay included a homemade breakfast each morning!  Millie put on quite a spread.

On Saturday morning she made us apple pancakes, blueberry soup (shown) and ham.  On Sunday, to fuel us for the race, we dined on a homemade quiche and a fruit pizza.  Even the food was grandma-tastic!

Sadly, I only got one picture of our hostess, and it’s crazy blurry.  But I feel like this post would be tragically lacking if I didn’t show it anyway- plus, it’s not like anybody who reads this expects decent photography from me:

This post isn’t very wordy, partially because I’m exhausted from the weekend and want to go to sleep, and partially because there simply are no words to describe the magic that was Millie.  If you are ever visiting Portland and want to REALLY feel like you are at home- or at least your grandma’s home- definitely check out The Hostess House.  It set the mood for our entire weekend.

Coming up: fish sauce chicken wings, The 24-hour Church of Elvis, Miles’ gluttony, cow tongues and what it feels like to be the only person who didn’t win a ribbon.

The guest train keeps on truckin’.  I LOVE friends and family coming up to visit us, but it does create one slight problem: when we have guests for 3 weeks straight, the definitely cuts down on my blogging time.  Thus this delayed recap.  But here I am, back and better than ever.

Anne came up last week for some grand explorations in the Pacific Northwest.  She spent Thursday and Friday exploring the city, unfortunately, mostly on her own during the day because I had to work.  Bah! to work.  However, we did get to get some good times in- Anne was able to explore some local yarn shops, meet my super awesome knitting group (or at least the girls who made it that night), meet me for lunch at The Other Coast (by the way, I am stupidly in love with their new extra small sandwhiches, which, for $5 are a total rip-off – a regular 6″ would only be $2 more for twice the sandwhich, but I don’t have the self control to save the other half, PLUS small food is cuter), wander around the Market Friday afternoon and then go to Black Bottle with Mike, where we had some good wine and THE BEST CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD OMFG, which was even weirder because MIKE picked it out.  (Mike hates chocolate and cake but highly recommended this choice, and dear god was he right.)

Saturday morning(ish) we left for a weekend in Portland.  Portland is basically the knitting capitol of the universe, so we had to make sure to check it out.  We stayed at the Ace Hotel, which is basically a fancy hostel- I was a little wary of the shared bathroom idea but my fears were quickly alleviated.  Everything was so clean that I think my mom would be comfortable wandering around the showers barefoot.

During our trip, we visited some fabulous yarn stores, including Twisted, which was highly recommended by my friend Kate, and Knit/Purl, which houses the amazing Sandy of ShiBui Yarns.  We spent nearly two hours with Sandy catching up on the latest knitting gossip and news.  I am totally bummed that we forgot to take a picture with her- I basically want to be her when I grow up.

We also hung out with Anne’s friend Sherri, who acted as our tour guide and took us to some really cool restaurants and events.  We started out the night with cocktails, where I introduced Anne and Sherri to the liquid glory that is sparkling sake, and then checked out a Fashion Show featuring some really cool independent designers followed by Steven Adler’s long lost cousin’s band.  Ok, the lead singer was of no relation to Steven Adler, but he had that same 1987 style shaggy ‘do and he was way the freak too skinny with bulgy veins.  And he wore bedazzled jeans.  This was by far the whitest show I’ve been to in a LONG time (yeah, totally whiter than when we saw the Stars with Amy and Derek), and I realized that I had completely forgotten that white crowds don’t dance.  At all.  Ever.  I really don’t get it.

At least the lights made funny pictures.

The next day Sherri invited us to a special crab boil dinner at Kenny & Zuke’s.  Attending it meant that we wouldn’t get home til midnight and I had to be up early the next morning for work, but I am totally happy to sacrifice sleep for crab.

Yeah, you would give up sleep for that big bowl o’ goodness too.  Anne was particularly enthusiastic:

Much to my delight, the dinner proved to be pretty healthy, but only because of my mayo-phobia.  Thank god the crab was so fresh and sweet that it was good enough to eat on my own, because here were the accompaniments :

A giant tub of coleslaw swimming in mayo and a gallon of mayo-based dipping sauces.  UGH mayo.  And normally I don’t shy away from butter, but looking at that much of it kind of took some of the joy away.

Don’t worry- I didn’t go away hungry.  Between the pounds of crab, the yummy grilled asparagus, some fantastic clam chowder and the free-flowing wine, I was definitely a happy camper.  Well, specifically, I was a happy camper sucking down chowder and wearing a bib:

All in all, it was a good, but exhausting, weekend.  It was definitely good times to see Anne and embark on a mini roadtrip adventure.